Gems

My brother David has recently done some postings on "gems" in his life. He has challenged each of his siblings to do the same. I have spent a great deal of time over the past week thinking on this. Although there are a some wonderful people I deem to be "gems" in the sense that my brother outlines, I would have to disagree with the statement that I might be surprised at the number of "gems" God has placed in my life. Quite the opposite, there are relatively few outside of my family (I see my family, husband, children, parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles & cousins to be my most precious gems of all). It's not that I am a negative person, quite the opposite, as I have posted in the past, I see everything in life from the "glass is half full" perspective. As a matter of fact, I am such an optomist, I drive many people in my life (especially my staff) a little crazy at times. I am however also a realist.

When I look back over my life, I see many situations where negative events have happened, and how they have shaped me to become a positive and very strong person. I believe that God, in his almighty wisdom, recognizes what an individual needs to shape and mold them into mature beings. I have always needed a "baseball bat to the head", and that's what God has provided me. Many circumstances I have shared with no one save Bruce, as I am loathe to ruin anyone's reputation or disrupt what was or is otherwise a good family. In most of these situations, the individual recognized what they had done was truly wrong and in their own way made amends. Don't get me wrong though, if I had EVER thought any of these individuals were a threat to someone else, I would have spoken out at the drop of a hat.

Some of the situations I can and am willing to share are as follows:

Although I always loved music camp at Jackson's Point, there were many years where I was bullied by other girls in the cabin (many times, I was "attacked" in my bed after dark, water thrown on me, full pop cans thrown at me etc). Any time I spoke up about it to counsellors, I was told things like "if you didn't act like a geek, it wouldn't happen." I remember as a 12 year old thinking to myself, that when I grew up, I would always listen when a child told me they were being bullied, and be their advocate.

It was one thing to be taunted by other children at school for being so thin, but it was another to be put down by adults at church week in and week out. Although every teenage girl looks at themself sometimes and sees themself as an ugly duckling, those put downs made me bound and determined to always like myself just for who I am, not based on what others say (thanks Mom, you were a good example of that for me).

While working at camp, I was cornered by a group of boys who began to grope me (don't ask me why, 'cause at that time there was nothing to grope!). I lashed out and scratched a few chests. I decided right then and there I would NEVER allow anyone, man or woman, to abuse me in any way shape or form and would always stand up for myself.

In my rebellious teenage years, I dreaded coming to the corps. This was because there was an individual who would "hunt" me down every time they saw me and say things like "You are a bad girl, look what you are doing to your parents" or "you need to get to that mercy seat right now and confess, you are a disgrace!" (funny, my parents never said or indicated anything of the sort, so why would someone else). My vow to myself was that I would NEVER call a child bad, only outline that their behaviour was inappropriate and then set an appropriate example for them. I also vowed that I would teach my own children (ya, as rebellious as I was, I wanted kids) that they needed to look at themselves and determine for themselves what their relationship with God needed to be, that no matter what they did, God would always love them and would be there waiting for them.

I do not feel mared in any way by these and other circumstances. I thank God for them, and for the ability to see how He has used these as my "baseball bats to the head" as I have learned life lessons. He has tempered them with the few "gems" who have been and some of whom are still in my life. Posts on them to come in the near future.