As Life Rolls On

As a friend of mine always says, "We plan, God laughs." You never know what life will bring, but the ride can be a blast!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

This is the most recent portrait of Bruce and I.
It's hard to believe we have been married almost 28 years. It's interesting that we were declared the couple least likely to make it, and are the only couple of the couples we hung out with when we were younger that did. Recently, I have reflected back as to why that is. I think that there are numerous reasons.

Bruce is the oldest of 3 children (all boys) and I am second oldest and oldest daughter of what ended up being 7 children in total. We both have the stereotypical charatcteristics of oldest children in that we are stubborn, can both be very bullheaded, like to be in charge and are both very competative. That all came in handy at times, yet wouldn't you have liked to be a fly on the wall when both of us dug our heals in on an issue. That all being said, neither of us likes to loose, so we have always done whatever it took to come out with a win/win solution when we had to. With that kind of positive stubborness, how can we loose.

Over the years, I think both of us can say that we are not only husband and wife, we are also each other's best friend. We can read each other simply through a look or a sigh. There is a great respect for what we have each accomplished, and recognize that neither of us would be were we are without the other. We also give each other personal space. We have a philosophy that we each have our own individual lives, yet we have our life together. With that kind of respect, how can we loose.

When we were first married, my dad made a statement that became indicative of the support we would receive from our family. He stated that he did not see Bruce as a son-in-law, but as a son. WOW, that was powerful. Bruce's mom used to say to me (she passed away 6 years ago) that she saw me as the daughter she never had. Whenever we needed support as a family, we could always rely on my siblings. With family support like that, how can we loose.

Over the years, I believe God has placed objective people in our lives to help us focus on the good in each other and in what we have. When some of Bruce's friends in Ontario were questioning him about why he would leave everything and move to Alberta for me, one good friend praised him for having the courage to put his life on hold so that I could accept the new position in another province. I have a long distance friend (well was a long distance friend, but is no longer) who over the years has told me over and over again that she thought I had "the good one." I don't think she realized that there were times when she said that, that I had needed to hear it. It is so good to be able to spend time with that friend and her husband now. With supportive friends like that, how can we loose.

I believe that we have always had our priorities straight. "Things" have always taken a back seat to our children and family. When other people worked two jobs and long hours, we went with the basics to ensure we could spend time with the kids and ensure their needs (not wants) were covered. Some our fondest memories (and our children's) are of picnics at the beach or skating on the rink in the back yard that Bruce had built. With proper priorities, how can we loose.

I think that for me, one of the greatest reasons why we have made it is because of my faith. I am such a hot head, and I have "foot in mouth" disease when I am mad. There have been so many times when I have prayed that God give me the right words and I have even surprised myself when I have spoken. I say what I need to say, not the "nasty" thing I had thought of saying. Not to say that I haven't said "nasty" things at times, 'cause Lord knows that "foot in mouth" has been extra large at times. I have also continually prayed that God give me a forgiving heart. It works. I honestly don't remember the reasons why I have been angry at Bruce after we have wrestled with an issue. With a caring and powerful God that sets such a loving example for us, how can we loose.

3 Comments:

  • At 10:21 AM, Blogger Evie Sears said…

    You left out the significant fact that Bruce was the inaugural and founding member of the Sears Inlaw Society (or whatever we call it). That support group for all of us who married into the Sears family has been instrumental to our survival! :) I'm not sure whether our sanity is intact - we probably lost it years ago - but all of our marriages are still going strong.

    Dave noted recently that his (your) siblings and my siblings have all had strong, nurturing marriages that continue to endure the tests of time. We thank God for giving all of us the strength and grace that have allowed us to achieve and sustain strong marriages and family lives.

     
  • At 3:46 PM, Blogger Barbara said…

    yeah. What Evie said, LOL!

    It's so true. When so many marriages are falling apart all around us, we stay strong. The one common denominator is our Faith in God and our trust in Him. Mom and Dad, you did good!!

     
  • At 8:32 PM, Blogger Catharine said…

    DITTO Evie!

    In strong marriages the partners are friends first. Friends are supportive and accepting - something Bruce has done for you through the years. That is special.

     

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